Want You Back In My Life!
by Detective Jules
Summary: Meg is back in DC.


WANT YOU BACK IN MY LIFE!  
  
by cat  
  
Disclaimers: Harm & Meg belong to each other and JAG to DPB.  
  
1400 local time  
  
outside of JAG HQ  
  
The tall blonde was sitting on a bench in front of the place where she used to work several years ago for an hour already. It had started to rain about 15 minutes ago and the jeans and tight tee shirt she was wearing were pretty wet already. But she wasn't able to get up and go. Neither to go inside and realize her plans, nor to turn around and go home again. In the morning she had still been determined to do it, just go in there, find the person she was looking for and tell him that she made the biggest mistake of her life. She even took some days off and flew to Washington DC for that. But now that she was here the doubts came. Would he remember her? The years had gone by and she was still thinking about him every day. She had tried to forget him so hard but it didn't work. She knew that the feelings she had for him were wrong. That's why she had left, because she couldn't stand being with him anymore without really being with him. And then there were still the NAVY  
  
regulations. Of course she was willing to risk everything for him, but she also knew that he would never risk his career. Let alone for her, his junior officer. She lit another cigarette. Another thing that she shouldn't have done: starting to smoke again.  
  
*************************  
  
The tall handsome naval lawyer came back from another one of his lunch breaks. He just couldn't resist them, not even after she got shot while he was out for lunch. He was still thinking about her everyday after all these years. Why did she leave him so suddenly, why didn't she even say goodbye? What did he do to make her run? He thought that the answer to this question was just 'too much'. He was the reason why she ended up in hospital so often. He was the reason why she was held hostage always again. He was the reason why she had to do all the paperwork. He always made her cover for him. And one day she just got fed up with all that and him and left. That broke his heart. He knew that the feelings he had developed for her, his junior officer were wrong, but who was in control of feelings anyway? He would have risked anything for her, even his career. But he knew as well that these feelings weren't mutual. She always tried to proove him that women were as capable as men, and he loved it to tease her with that. Though it had started to rain, he wasn't hurrying to get inside. The rain fit his mood and he decided to enjoy a cigar before going back to work. So the still deepened in thoughts Commander was already on his way to a bench outside of the HQ when he noticed that he didn't have a lighter and his matches didn't work due to the rain. He looked around to see who might be able to help him out when he saw a lone figure sitting on the bench where he intended to silently smoke his cigar Though he saw her only from behind she seemed familar right away. *No, that can't be. I'm seeing things. I'm just thinking about her way to much lately, so I'm imagining her.* He decided to approach the slender woman anyway, not just out of curiosity about who was reminding him so much to the love of his life but also because he saw that she had a cigarette. That made his hopes that it really might be her fade again. *She didn't smoke.* But with every step he got closer he became surer again that it was her indeed. The similarity was too exact to be pure chance. He had approached her silently enough. She still wasn't aware of the fact that he was standing behind her. The adult man was so exited, his stomach was on a rollercoaster trip. So he covered her eyes from behind with his hands out of sudden and without thinking twice.  
  
*************************  
  
Suddenly two hands covered her eyes. The beautiful blonde spun around right away and sent her attacker to the ground. "Who the hell are you to dare..." She recognized the in the wet dirt lying figure right away and stopped to swear at him.  
  
"Hiya Meg. Nice to see you again too."  
  
"You stupid idiot. Do you ever think before you act?" She offered him her hand and helped him up again. "How are you Harm?"  
  
"Apart from the fact, that I'm soaked to the bones and look like a pig you mean?"  
  
"Hey, that's your own fault. I hope I didn't hurt you."  
  
"No, I'm all right. I think I just forgot that you're a cowgirl."  
  
"I am?"  
  
"Of course you are. The prettiest and most astonishing lady and a bold cowgirl in one."  
  
"Well, thanx. I think."  
  
"Hey, since when do you smoke?" He mentioned to the cigarette that was lying on the wet ground now.  
  
"Oh, I think I started again shortly after I left DC."  
  
"That brings up the next questions. Wanna go for a walk or something? Cause I'm not going to just let you disappear again."  
  
"Well, do you know how you look like? Maybe you should consider taking a shower and change the uniform. I promise I'll wait here."  
  
"You're probably right. Why are you here anyway? A case?"  
  
"No, I'll tell you later."  
  
"So you're not busy now? You know, you could accompany me..."  
  
"And join you in the shower?"  
  
"If your boyfriend doesn't mind."  
  
"That's hardly possible Sir, there is no boyfriend."  
  
"There isn't?" That was great. His old dreams were resurfacing again. He still loved her so much.  
  
*Did he really sound excited?* "No, what about you?"  
  
"No boyfriend either."  
  
"Of course not, but a girlfriend for sure?"  
  
"No. I'm still single."  
  
They were still standing by the bench in the pouring rain, everything around them didn't seem to exist anymore. They just looked at each other quietly for a minute before they started to walk in silence. But then Harm couldn't wait any longer. He just had to know.  
  
"Meg, why did you leave me? Why did you leave without even saying goodbye?"  
  
"I, I was transferred out, you know. I had to move right away and had hardly time to inform my mom."  
  
"But you could at least have answered to my letters. I was trying to phone you for one year, you've never been there. And the letters came back unread, though I know the address wasn't wrong. Meg, why did you do that to me?" The pain came back again as well. It had broken his heart that Meg had denyed herself. And didn't want to talk to him again.  
  
The tears started to stream down her face. She was glad, that it was raining so hard that Harm couldn't see her crying. Crying over him, crying over her foolish behavior. Crying over all the things she never wanted to happen the way they did. "Oh Harm. I wish, I hadn't been such a stupid fool, I wish I could turn back time and set things straight again. But unfortunately I can't change the past. You asked me why I left and why I ignored you. Well, I got all of your letters and also was there most of the time when you called. But I didn't act on it because I wanted to forget you. I wanted to get over you and I didn't have the strength to read your letters or answer your calls."  
  
Harm felt his world go down. He was right about everything, she hated him. She left him because she didn't want to have anything to do with him ever again. He was thankful for the rain that covered his tears now.  
  
"I left you because it seemed wrong to stay. I wasn't able to face you anymore day after day and pretend that everything was fine."  
  
"Oh Meg, why did you never tell me that I have bothered you so much?"  
  
"No, that wasn't it. You never bothered me, at least not in the way you think. My problem was that I had developed forbidden feelings for you. Feelings that ruined our friendship and working relationship. And I knew that there was not the slightest chance that you had the same feelings for me. I was just your junior partner so I ran away. And now I came back to make an even greater fool of myself by telling you that I had fallen for you. I came back because I want you back in my life. I want you back by my side, cause that's where you belong. I'm not able to give you up, I will never stop to think about you. My love is much too strong. Look at me standing here, crying out my final tears, look at me in the rain, trying to make up for the biggest mistake I made in my whole life. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me but I was too blind to see that until it was too late. I guess I better go again now. Just forget about everything I just said, it was a stupid idea to come back, please don't follow me or something, just leave me alone again and your life will be back to normal again by tomorrow."  
  
She turned around but Harm grabbed her wrist. "Don't dare to leave me again like that. You broke my heart once by doing that and I swear that I'm not going to let that happen again. My life wasn't back to normal since you left. I wasn't able to stop thinking about you, I was hating myself for making you leave. And like you I had realized, just how much you meant to me when it was too late. You made my life special, your smile always made my day. I knew I loved you from the very beginning, but whenever I was hoping that you might be interested in me as well the slightest bit, I was convincing myself that all I was for you was your senior partner. All I had were my dreams in which the love I felt was mutual. And then one day you were gone, no goodbye, no explanation, just an empty desk. And that was when I realized, that I should have told you at least. So I wrote you a letter. I wrote down everything that  
  
was in my heart, but it came back. So I wrote another letter and a third and a forth and hundreds more. I tried to call you, to tell you how I felt, to ask you to meet me only once again, so I had a chance to explain. Or at least to plead you to read my next letter, but it was senseless. So I wanted to forget you, but that didn't work either, I'm still thinking about you every day. Please make my life worth living again. There's nothing in the world, that I want more than to be a part of your life again. I want you to be the most important part of mine again, I never want to see you sad or in tears again. Stay with me Meg. Forever." He kneeled down in front of her and took hold of her hand while he looked deep into her eyes. "Meg Austin, will you please marry me?"  
  
"What? Marry you? Me?" She stared at him in complete disbelief.  
  
"Of course you. You're the one for me Meg. The one and only. I was born to love you. We are meant to be together. And this is the point where you are supposed to say yes."  
  
"Yes, I will." She pulled him up and jumped into his arms.  
  
Harm spun her around, embracing her tightly, while their lips slowly captured each other in a passionate kiss.  
  
THE END 


End file.
